Frozen
by KimOfDrac
Summary: Reid is in a violent relationship that the team doesn't know about, but for how long can he hide it? How many excuses for the bruises will they buy? Contains SLASH and VIOLENCE. Later chapters might get M rated. Minor crossover with Law & Order SVU
1. Chapter 1

"_Would you mind if I hurt you?  
Understand that I need to  
Wish that I had other choices  
than to harm the one I love  
What have you done now!"_

- Within Temptation

***

There was an unknown person staring back at him through the mirror. Staring in almost a hypnotic way as he reached up and ran his fingers lightly over the dark purple mark under his eye. It felt puffy somehow and pain shot through his cavaties like a spear of ice.

He hissed at the reflection and found another mark on the side of his chin.

For some reason he turned the water on and sighed, then ran his fingers through his long light brown hair.

_What do I say to those who'll ask?_

He looked up again at the steamy mirror, staring into the big hazel eyes that were staring right back at him. It was never going to end.

Reid washed his face and turned off the taps, before he grabbed a towel and made sure he was dry, before he unlocked the door and opened it to leave.  
"You took your time"

Bill was standing right outside, staring into the large puppy eyes with his own icy blue ones.  
"S-sorry" Reid said quietly and swallowed. Bill smirked.  
"Off to bed. I'll be there in a bit"

His voice was deep and when they first met, Reid found it sexy, but after the past few months, it was nothing but threatening to him.

"Okay"

Reid walked down the hall and into the bedroom, feeling a uncomfortable flicker in his stomach. He couldn't help but stare at the maroon sheets in fear, before he undressed.

_Please Hotch, call me and tell me we have an urgent case..._

He crept down under the sheets and stared at his cellphone, almost praying for it to call... But it didn't and a few minutes later, Bill's wide form appeared in the doorway. He almost looked like a vampire with his bleached spiky hair and light blue eyes that sometimes appered to be white.

"I like this sight" he said and licked his lips, before he approached the bed.

_Please, someone up there, make someone call me, ring the doorbell, anything..._

Reid faked a smile and looked up at him, but didn't follow him with his eyes as Bill walked around the bed and joined him.

His large, cold fingers caressed Reid's neck and throat. He was sure Bill was going to strangle him.  
"I'm really sorry about that" Bill said and touched the bruises in Reid's face.

The young genius flinched, and Bill pulled his hand away.  
"Did it hurt?" he asked. Reid swallowed.  
"It's just a-a little sore" Reid stuttered and closed his eyes. Bill leaned in and placed his wet lips hard onto the purple marks. Reid wanted to push him away. It felt as if his head was about to explode.

The blonde man's cold hands touched him. His chest, his arms, his thighs. He wanted to run.

Suddenly his phone rang and he quickly reached for it. Bill let out an annoyed sigh.  
"Dr Reid" he answered and at that point, Bill slipped his hand down Reid's boxers, and Reid knew he'd be disappointed at the non-excisting reaction.

"_It's me" _Hotch's voice said in the other end, and Reid quietly thanked a higher power. _"We just got a priority one case, I need you here in 30 minutes"_

Reid winched as Bill squeezed him hard, and pressed his lips together.  
"Mhm" he took a deep breath. "I'll be there"

"Get a normal job, for fucks sake" Bill muttered angrily and lay down, with his back towards Reid.

"I'm... I'm sorry" Reid said quietly and got up.

"Too bad you got hit by the kitchen cupboard" Bill said. "You look terrible"

Reid had to press his lips together not to hiccup in tears. He nodded.  
"Yeah... That stupid cupboard"

***

Reid took a seat behind the steering wheel of his old car and just sat there, breathing, for a while. He looked at himself in the rear-view mirror and wondered why he was stupid enough to stay with Bill. The man had an obvious interest in causing pain, feeling dominant, which off course had made Spencer Reid the most perfect victim, even though Bill claimed to love him.

Reid loved Bill too in a way, or at least he had once... Before the dangerous game had started and it felt impossible to finish it.

He turned the key and started the car, barely focusing on the road, as his thoughts were taking up too much of his mind at that moment.

It was weird that Hotch had called right then, almost as if he had read Reid's thoughts and rescued him. Reid only wished that was true.

The red and oragne lights along the road had an almost relaxing effect. It felt almost as if he was on the run, and he liked it.

The team didn't know about Bill. It had been both of their wishes, but Reid had been close to telling them many times the past month, especially when Morga had been joking about Reid never getting a date.

Somehw, it had hurt him. Not the joke in itself, but the fact that he wanted to tell Morgan everything but something always made him not to.

He wondered if they'd believe the 'kitchen cupboard' story. He had never had any visible bruises before, and he managed to hide them from Morgan with the explanation 'would you really like to see me naked' the day he had been infected with anthrax.

Those bruises were scars now, running down his back as Bill had punished him, like he always did when Reid came home from a case. Punished with the brown leather belt he had come to hate, everytime he had been away for 'too long'.

Reid parked his car in the garage under the main building and took the elevator.

_Oh, it's nothing... The cupboard was open and I didn't see it until, Bam... No, that sounded really made up... I was going to make coffee and the cupboard was stuck, so I pulled with all my strength and it hit me in the face... Ugh, even worse. What strength?_

He sighed. He just had to deal with it when they asked him.

The elevator doors opened and he got ut, marching with his long legs towards the bullpen as always.

"Hey, Spence" JJ greeted and he smiled. "Oh my God, what did you do?"

She tilted her head slightly and squinted her eyes as she seemed to be analyzing his bruises.

"Cupboard door..." he said with a nervous laugh. "Clumsy me"

She furrowed her eyebrows, but didn't question him.  
"Remind me to never let you get close to a cupboard again"

He pressed his lips together and smiled, nodding and entered the bulpen.

He wanted to smack himself in the face. _Clumsy me...?_

It seemed Hotch was still getting things ready, because Reid didn't see him. Garcia and Morgan were talking by Morgan's desk, and Reid thought he could walk past them without them noticing. He was wrong.  
"Whoa, man, who did you mess with, the Terminator?"

Morgan walked up to him, and Reid wished he didn't.

"Actually it was the mighty Hulk..."

_Now he was screwed. Reid never made jokes, and if he did, something was wrong... Busted!_

"Who did this to you?" Morgan asked, causing Garcia to rush over there too. Reid sighed.  
"I walked into a cupboard, Morgan" Reid said, but Morgan shook his head.  
"How do you explain the bruise on your chin?"

Reid swallowed and thought of something quickly.  
"I... You know what?" he began with a nervous chuckle. "I hit the tap in the fall, can you believe it?"

Garcia looked between the men with a worried and suspicious look.

"No, Reid. I don't believe it"

Reid's face turned stern and he cleared his throat.

"Everybody, we have to present the case"

_Saved by Hotch... Again._


	2. Chapter 2

It was a case that they all knew would be difficult. It wasn't just one person at a time, but whole families missing and the NYPD had run out of explanations to the public.

In a way, Reid was greatful, because it meant they probably had to be away for a long while and that would give him time to figure out what to do with his life. He had no intentions of staying with Bill for much longer, but if he told him he wanted to break up, Bill would probably beat him unconcious.

"Hey, kid"

Reid jumped and looked up at Morgan.  
"Huh, what?"

"We're heading for the plane, do you have your go-bag?" Morgan asked. Reid was a bit confused after being in deep thoughts, but shook them off.

"Uh, yea yeah"

He gave Morgan one of his usual smiles and Morgan nodded.  
"Alright then, you comin'?"

Reid got up and grabbed his bag from the floor and put his coat on. It was November and it was really getting chilly outside.

For a second, he considered stopping Morgan as they walked and tell him he needed his help, but he knew it wasn't a good time. The plane would leave in a few minutes and it would take Reid so much longer just to get the words out.

"Are you going to tell me what really happened?" Morgan asked and held the door open for Reid as they left the building. _Yes, I want to, believe me._

"What? It was just the damn kitchen cupboard"

Morgan let out a sigh.

"Isn't it against science to lie to your friends?" Morgan said. Reid held uphis hand, as he gestured while he spoke.

"Actually, it's not scientific at all. Lying has got to do with moral and ethics, which is basicly..."

"Alright, I get it. You don't want to talk about it..." Morgan interrupted with a long sigh and walked up the steps to enter the airplane. "... It was a girl, wasn't it?"

Reid furrowed his brows and looked up at him.  
"What? Why would a girl give me a black eye?"

Morgan chuckled and turned around to meet his eyes.

"Reid, you're the guy who typed 'death' in a search engine for no good reason"

Reid just pressed his lips together and quietly followed Morgan onboard.

***

It wasn't a long ride, but the team had enough time to go through the plan on how to start, and discuss the case.

"Well, all of the adult males visited the same strip club the past six months..." Prentiss began as she looked through the file. "... That can't just be a coincidence, I mean there are dozens of strip clubs in New York"

She looked up and over at Hotch who seemed to be in deep thought.  
"It's strange, though, because some of them lived quite far away from that perticular club and there must be other ones closer to where they live" Reid said, not looking up from the file. The pictures of the husbands and fathers missing looked quite alike, and the men had many recemblances to eachother. "They're all in their fifties, middle class and they all have well paid jobs within law or buisness, this shows that the UnSub is targeting this certain type of victim" Reid said, words coming out at high speed. "The families are not the target, they're just a bonus"

He looked around at the others. Again, Hotch looked sceptical.  
"We can'think that far ahead, we have to start off objective" Hotch finally looked up and straight at Reid. "When we land, I want to talk to you in private"

Reid swallowed. Hotch didn't seem angry or anything, but it was always nervracking to be asked to speak wth Hotch in private just like that.

"Y-yes, sir" Reid said quietly and returned his focus to the file in is hands.

"The fact that there's been no bodies found would suggest they're alive or hidden somewhere. If they're alive, we should prepare for the UnSub to make contact. Kidnapping is usually a way to get money in exchange for the victims lives" JJ said.  
"Or the UnSub keeps them as prisoners for his own pleasure, weither it's through torture or sex, it has happened before. It's extremely important to look at anysigns of the way the UnSub removed them from their homes" Rossi filled in, just as the plane went down for landing.

***

Two months earlier

"_Bill... We have to talk" Reid said nervously. His hands were sweating and his throat was dry, but he had made up his mind.  
"Sure, about what?"_

_Bill sat down infront of him, acting too sugarly sweet than what was believeable if you knew him._

"_It's been three months now and, uh, it's been great... sometimes, but I..."_

"_You want to break up?"_

_Bills eyes was threatening and Reid swallowed.  
"Uhm, no... I mean, I was thinking... A break?"_

"_A break?" Bill said loudly. "A break, huh?"_

_Suddenly Reid was pushed up against the wall firmly. He couldn't breathe. Not even when Hankel had pointed the gun to his face had he been so scared.  
"I'm not good enough for you, genius?" Bill yelled and Reid closed his eyes, whimpering like a scared puppy._

"_I didn't mean that, I just-"_

_Smack! The back of his head hit the wall hars and pain shot through his brain like ice._

"_We, you and me, are meant to be, Spencer. Meant to be! And you want to RUIN IT?!"_

_Reid was shaking and kept his eyes closed. His mind screaming that this was his final moment. He wanted to cry, but it wouldn't leave his body._

"_Bill, please..."_

_For a moment it was like Bill turned into another person and slowly let go off Reid.  
"I'm going to have a drink" he mumbled and left Reid against the wall in shock._

**// Not to worry, my dears, I am still writing The Haunted Memory. I just had this idea aswell and I am now writing both.**


	3. Chapter 3

An hour later, Reid sat at a desk with a map infront of him and a red marker in his hand, but nothing had been done. Fragments of his meeting with Hotch were tormenting his mind. _I don't believe a word, Spencer... How are people going to trust a Federal Agent who's beaten black and blue?... You're lying to me, Spencer, do you want to lose your job?_

He sighed and ran his long slim fingers through his llight brown hair. He had lied to his boss. It was the worstthing he'd ever done in his entire life...

_I'm fine, Hotch... It won't happen again..._

He heard heels clicking against the hard floor and looked up. JJ sat down across the table and sighed.  
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, and he was so cose to telling her that he wasn't fine, that he hated himself for staying with a crazy person... But he didn't say that to her.

"Yeah... It's just Hotch is mad at me..."

JJ shook her head slowly and put her hand on top of his.  
"No, Spence. He's worried, like the rest of us. We all know that bruise was caused by a fist and we want to help you-"

"Jennifer, I don't need help. I need to work without having my entire team treating me like a kid"

He could tell she got a little hurt by her removing her hand and the way she looked away.

"You're being unfair, Spencer..." she said and sighed. "If I was beaten, wouldn't you want to help me?"

_Damn you JJ._

He rubbed his face with his hands and let out a sigh.  
"Off course I would. I would make sure you were safe"

He looked into her eyes and she furrowed her brows as she shook her head.  
"Then why won't you let me make sure you're safe?"

He swallowed and his eyes flickered a bit as he got nervous.  
"I'm here, aren't I? I'm safe now, JJ... Don't worry"

It was as if he had just tol her he was dying in cancer or something, because she covered her mouth with her hand and tears formed in her eyes.

He then realised he had basicly told her he was in danger at home... _Again, damn you JJ!_

***

_"Why is JJ crying?" Garcia asked firmly as Morgan answered the phone. He furrowed his brows in confusion.  
"Huh?"_

_"I just called her and she was very upset"_

Morgan looked over at Prentiss, as if she knew what was going on. She gave him a look asking the opposite.

"I sure didn't make her cry" Morgan said, wich caught Prentiss's interest.  
"Who's crying?"

"JJ's crying" Morgan replied to Prentiss and an angry growl was heard from Garcia.  
_"Why is Blondibelle upset, someone must know!"_

"Why is JJ crying?" Prentiss asked and Morgan took a deep breath.  
"Both of you girls, stop harassing me about this, I don't know, alright"

_"But you will find out" _Garcia ordered and at that moment Morgan began to wonder what his job actually was.

***

"JJ?" Reid asked quietly as he knocked on the open door to the office where she was sitting, going through case files simular to the current ones. He entered and sat down opposite her. Her nose was red and her eyes a little puffy.  
"What is it, Spencer?" she asked, trying to act normal.  
"I didn't mean to make you sad, JJ-"

"I'm not sad" she interrupted. "I feel very angry and betrayed"

_Would that be something better?_

"But... Why?" he asked and she let out a heavy sigh and looked up at him.  
"I trust you and I never lie to you, ever... And it makes me angry that all this time I thought you would trust me just as much and you don't"

Reid's eyes flickered towards another direction and he ressed his lips together.  
"It's not that I don't trust you..." he began and sighed, looking into her eyes again. "... Look, JJ I need help, and I just don't know who can help me. I don't want to put you in danger..."

She looked at him with eyes that showed she was a little shocked.  
"What is going on, Spence?" she breathed, feeling really worried about her friend and partner.

Reid chewed on his lip for a while before he reached for his cellphone and opened a picture from the media library. It was him and Bill, looking happy and in love... They had been, and they were when the picture was taken, five months earlier.

He pushed the phone across the table, ad she gave him a questioning look before she took it and looked at it.

He had no idea how she would react. He hadn't even come out to his team, nonetheless told them he was with another man.

She ran a finger over her lip, a typical sign of not knowing what to say.  
"Is he the one who...?" she looked up at him and he nodded. His face had a look of sadness and fright on it. She nodded too, showing him she understood.

It was a weird moment of silence. It was like she couldn't take her eyes of the screen on his cellphone.  
"His, uhm..." Reid cleared his throat. "His name is Bill... We've been together for a little over six months...."

She put the phone down and touched his face, gently feeling the puffy bruise on his cheek that went all around the lower part of his eye. He wondered if she believed she could make them go away by doing that.

"Do you love him?" she asked and he swallowed, shrugging.  
"I-I did... Once, but... Now I'm just scared of him"

She wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug that Reid was not prepared of.

"You have to tell Hotch" she whispered. He knew she was upset... Again.

"It's not that easy, I wish it was, but talking about it is even worse than the beating itself"

He could hear her sniffle, and gently rubbed her back. _Why was she the one crying and not he?_

"Please? Promise me that you will, when you're ready?"

Reid sighed and nodded slightly.  
"I will"

"There she is, and she is crying again"

Reid and JJ pulled away from eachother as Prentiss entered the room along with Morgan.


	4. Chapter 4

Reid felt alot better the rest of that day, as if a heavy burden had been lifted. It would have been an almost perfect day, if Morgan hadn't chased him around, trying to figure out why 'JJ had come to him and cry against his shoulder'.

"Really, it's none of your buisness, Morgan" he tried, but the man would only grin at him.  
"Yeah right, whatever, kid, it's cool. You're like a teddybear, only skinny and talks alot. Everybody wants your comfort"

Morgan winked as he saw Reid get a little annoyed.  
"Morgan, please. Can we just.. Drop this whole thing and get on with work?"

Morgan chuckled and nodded.  
"Sure, kid. So what have you got there?"

Reid placed the map on the table and removed the cap from his marker, before he leaned over to get a better look at the map.  
"Here are the locations of where the families were abducted, aka their homes" he began and pointed at the already marked dots. "Now, if I'm right, these dots should form the pattern of..." he drew straight lines between the dots and stood up straight when he was done. "... A pentagram"

Morgan looked at the symbol.  
"The Satanic symbol?" he asked and Reid nodded, getting all worked up by the amount of information he wanted to spill all at once.

"You see that the bottom point is bigger than the other ones, it's a typical Satanic pentagram, now the word comes from the greek _pentagrammon_, basicly meaning five lined" he said, and Morgan listened, wondering what would be relevant information and what would be the usual drabble. "We have five families missing, one for each point, and I think they're being kept somewhere within this area" Reid continued and pointed at the middle of the pentagram.

"What makes you think that?" Morgan asked, and Reid made some funny flapping movement with his hands, as if he could shake the words out of himself.

"Almost every pentagram used by Devil worshipers have a picture of Lucifer's face in the middle of the pentagram, sometimes they use the evil eye, but the point is, satanic sects make maps like this one to show the members the location of the next meeting, which usually includes a sacrifice of a goat or a child..."

Morgan watched the young man as he took a few seconds to breathe.  
"So, you're saying they're sacrificing the families?" Morgan asked.

Reid tapped his chin as he tried to think of a reason for a sacrifice.

He walked up to the whiteboard and let the pen dance over the white surface.  
"It's the 11th month of the year, and the date is the 24th... Five victims and it's the 5th day of the week, according to modern thinking, which is what young satanic sects would use..."

Reid stepped back from the whiteboard and looked at it. "24th becomes 2+4, which equals 6. Eleven is automaticly split ino two, because double numbers are never used and each one is added to each five. 5+1 and 5+1"

He turned around and looked at Morgan. "The answer is 666... The sacrifice is today, it's an important date for them"

"I still don't get why" Morgan said, and Reid let out a sigh.  
"It was believed the apocalypse would take place on the sixth of june 2006, but Lucifer did not destroy the earth, and therefore his worshipers try to find his number as often as possible to pray and sacrifice to make him stronger"

To Morgan it was all just jhadi jhada, but what mattered what that they had an area to search, and a date.  
"How long do we have?" Morgan asked.  
"Not long, it will take place at 12.06 pm"

For once, Morgan got the message.  
"6+6 and 6 right?" Reid nodded. "Alright, so we have about seven hours"

Reid looked at the clock on the wall. He had been awake for over 25 hours. Morgan grabbed his cellphone and took a picture of the map.

"I'll send this to Garcia and see if she can find a good place for a ritual.

***

Reid had fallen asleep at his desk, and the four cups of coffee in his systems hadn't worked at all. He was tired, and the team let him sleep. They figured they needed his mind to be on top, and therefor an hour or two without him wouldn't make a big difference.

He had only been alseep for barely twenty minutes when his phone rang. Sleepily, he reached for it in his pocket and flipped it open.

"Dr Reid" he answered and sat upp. Morgan looked over at him with a suspicious look.  
_"How's work?"_

Reid sighed. He wasn't in the mood to talk to Bill, because the conversations usually didn't turn out very well.

"I'm tired, but it's going okay..."

He couldn't help but looking over at Morgan for a second. His look was piercing through him.

"_Your work is never okay, baby. You deal with corpses and all that"_

Reid sighed.  
"There are no corpses this time..." Reid answered. He heard Bill let out a chuckle.  
_"Then what is it this time?" _Bill asked, and Reid tiredly closed his eyes.

"You know I can't talk about the cases"

Bill let out a sigh.  
_"Well I miss you" _Reid pressed his lips together and swallowed. _"Do you miss me, baby?"_

"Off course I do" Reid said and cleared his throat, as Morgan walked up to him, looking down at him for a reason Reid didn't know.

"_Come back soon. You know how I hate sleeping between cold sheets"_

"I-I'll try... I have to go now" Reid said and fingered his empty coffee mug nervously. Bill let out a sigh.

"_Call me when you can, alright"_

It wasn't a question, it was an order.  
"Yeah"

Reid closed his phone and looked up at Morgan.

"You okay?" he asked, and Reid shrugged.  
"Why wouldn't I be?"

Morgan looked down at the phone trapped inside Reid's long, slim fingers, and back into the large hazel eyes.  
"'Cause you look like you haven't slept in days and seconds ago you looked like the phone was going to eat you alive"

Reid swallowed.  
"Not now, Morgan, we have to work"

The look in the young genius's eyes told Morgan he wasn't ging to tell him anything else. Somehow, as Morgan saw the dark purple bruises, he felt hurt, as if someone had broken something precious to him. He leaned in, to make sure no one else heard what he had to say.  
"I know you're scared..." he whispered to Reid. "... And I would never have to think twice to protect you, ever... But to do that, I need you to talk to me"

Reid felt very moved by it and had to take a deep breath not to get emotional.  
"Trust me, I want to... But there are things I need to sort out myself before I tell you, especially you..."

Morgan realised it must be something big, and that didn't exactly help him to worry less about his co-worker.  
"Alright, take your time. I won't go away"

He gave Reid a pat on the shoulder and walked back to Rossi and Prentiss, who were working with Hotch on a plan of where to place the SWAT team and snipers.

Reid looked over at Morgan and realised, that Derek Morgan meant so much more to him than he had ever realised. Maybe, because he hadn't found out the difference between someone asking how you feel and someone asking you to tell them what's wrong before.

**// I was listening to The Corpse Bride theme on repeat as I wrote this, it's really great for inspiration. Let me know what you think of the chapter :) Oh, and I'd also like to know if you think it should be rated M instead, I'm not sure. I have a warning in the summary so... Let me know!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: Thanks to Deathandallherfriends for the great ideas that saved my chapter. Also big thanks to Sue1313, reidluver228, the-vampire-act and BlackHorse08 for all your support!**_

***

"We have a location!"

That was an automatic signal for everyone to pach their bulletproof vests, check their guns and get an extra magazine with bullets. It was also on that signal, that Hotch made the phonecall sending a dozen men from the SWAT team and just as many snipers out to the location within the next hours. The paramedics and fire department were notified, and also informed to keep a good distance until they were called in.

It was as if an alarm had started, and people rushed to grab their gear. The NYPD called in more cars and gathered quickly to meet with the team for an information meeting.  
"We have no idea how many people will be at the location. It could very well be the whole satanic society of Massachusetts, but we doubt it'll be bigger than that" Prentiss began.

"Let me remind all of you that this is not a time for us to bother about religious opinions. Some of these people knows how to, and will, kill. That includes children" JJ continued. Reid cleared his throat.  
"Let us observe the leaders for a few seconds when we get there. It will help us find he most threatening person and take him out, f we have to, without harming anyone else"

Hotch looked at the men and women with a serious expression on his face.  
"Remember, there will be children there, so be cautious. Do not let them see you, as they might alert the rest that help is coming, and do not, ever, shoot a sect member if there is any risk of harming a child"

***

Waiting for the time to pass was the hardest part. It was still over three hours left until the sacrifice would take place, and since they had no idea where the families were being kept until then, nothing could be done until they were sure the victims were at the location of the sacrifice.

For Reid, the waiting gave him a chance to read another book and have another large mug of coffee, or two. Even if the moment was tense like always, it was in an enviroment that felt secure to him, compared to what was waiting for him in Virginia. He tried not to think about it.

He had noticed that after he had told JJ, she had seem to worry less about him. Maybe it was because she knew where the danger was, and it wasn't near him at the moment. He didn't now, and he wasn't going to bring it up with her either.

He had also noticed that Morgan had been watching him constantly, as if he was waiting for Reid to catch on fire and vanish or something. All in all, it was a situation Reid was not used to and it scared him a little bit.

"Reid"

He snapped away from his book and looked up at his boss, Aaron Hotchner.

"Yes?" Reid asked, a little surprised.  
"Who would be the most dangerous person at the location? We need to know who to focus on"

"Oh" Reid furrowed his brows, as he always did when he gathered his thoughts. "There will be a priest there with a dagger, which would obviously be a threat to anyone, and then there's usually two keepers of the holy fire, meaning the people in charge of the grill, so to speak" Reid said and wanted to laugh at it himself, but didn't, as it would be inappropriate. "Those three would be the most dangerous people there, I believe, but then I have no idea how many people will bring weapons, they usually carry a knife, in case Lucifer wants more blood…"

He pressed his lips together in a weak smile and Hotch sighed.  
"So everybody would be a threat in there"

"Uhm, yes"

Hotch nodded slowly.  
"Alright. We're leaving in 90 minutes, make sure you've got the armor on by then"

"Yes, sir"

As Hotch let him get back to his reading, Reid couldn't help but think about the danger so many people were in. The only times worse than this one that he could remember were the bombing which had killed Katie and almost killed Hotch aswell, and the first big mission he had ever been on with the team. He would never forget it and neither would te rest of the people in America, or even the world.

He could see it all over and over again in his mind, even if he didn't want to. Anyways, it was a bad comparison to what was going on right now. The cult could not be compared to terrorism, but he wondered how many people they would be able to save, and how many people they would have to kill just to do that.

****

The trees surrounding the long since abandoned barn were dark and grew tightly, making it seem almost as if it was night.

Quick, but quiet the team entered the barn, feeling the heat from not only the two gigant grills that were lit in the front, but also from the cowd of people tigtly pressed together.

There was a smell of burning coal, alcohol, blood and sweat mixed together and if they hadn't been used to similar situations, it would have been hard for them to focus.

The agents silently pointed their loaded guns towards the people who had weapons in sight. Reid automaticly pointed his Glock 23 at the priest's forehead. The man was quite tall and heavily built. Most of it was not muscles, but he was not near overweight either. He wore a skull with large curved horns on his head and a skin over his shoulders that Reid feared was human. He also noticed the priest was holding a staff in his hand with a small human skull on it. That proved to Reid, these people were strong believers and fanatics of evil. The priest raised his arms into the air and spoke with a deep, loud voice.

"Exspectata frater quod sanctimonialis!" (Welcome brothers and sisters). The croud cheered and the priest stood in silence for a while.

Five cages were rolled in, each containing a family, with the members of it tied naked together. Reid felt pearls of sweat roll down his face and drip from the tip of his nose and chin. It was like a sauna in there and he felt the plastic and metal of his gun heat up more and more. The priest laughed.

"Testis nostrum vitualamen!" (Witness our sacrifice). He waved with his arm at the cages and again, the crowd cheered. Some even laughed at the sight. "Silentium! Lucifer fui sciscopro illa vitulamen…" (Silence! Lucifer has asked for this sacrifice). "… Quod nos e promptus ut tribou nostrum vinco cruor" (And we are ready to give our master blood).

At that, five men dressed in hoods approached the cages and opened them. That was also the signal for the team to act. The snipers were ready, sitting on the beams in the ceiling, the team were ready to fire and the NYPD were ready to catch any runners outside.

"FBI!"

As Hotch stood up in clear view of the croud, so did the rest of the team and everything went quiet.

Suddenly the most unexpected thing happened. Some people in the croud dropped bottles that they had been holding, and they crashed to the ground, spreading the smell of what they contained through out the room.

Reid immediately understood what was going on.

"Fire! They're setting themselves on fire!"

No one had time to react. Just a second later, a massive heat exploded and the barn was lit up. The smell of burnt flesh was thick as the agents ran through the crowd of burning people, running around and screaming in pain and panic. As the heat spread, the team put away their guns as they burned their hands and rushed towards the cages.

Shots were fired from the snipers and the priest and his men fell, one by one.

Reid felt himself get dizzy from the heat and looked over at Prentiss. He could tell by the look in her eyes she was feeling the same thing, and as quickly as they could, they untied the victim's feet and guided them through the thick smoke towards the exit.

"Everyone, get out!" they heard Morgan yell, and they knew they couldn't save anyone else.

**// I hope you enjoyed this chapter more. I think it's better and I quite like it =)**

**Let me know what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is M rated due to strong violence!**

Thick, dark smoke swirled up towards the pale blue skies and the smell of sot and coal was slowly fading away.

The team had been checked quickly before the ambulance's had to leave with the families, and some of them were better than others.  
They were all squeezing a bag of ice between their fingers, as their guns had burned them slightly, and they were coughing now and then as their lungs had been exposed to the smoke.

Appart from that, they were alright, and they had completed their mission. What bothered them were the horrific number of people burned alive in there. The forensic theme were still bagging bodies and had to send for more bodybags, as the local station only had 50 of them.

"I'm not in a very good mood to handle the media right now…" JJ said quietly, as she sat next to Reid and Morgan. She wrapped her pale blue jacket tighter around her. "I don't know the right words to explain this"

"JJ, I'm sure Hotch understand" Reid said, and she looked at him, with a tiny smile on her lips.

"Yeah, but it's my job"

Reid pressed his lips tightly together and nodded slowly.  
"I think we should get going" Morgan said as he saw Hotch get in his car. The trio got up and headed to the SUV's quietly. The leaves on the ground that used to be frosty were damp and slippery from the heat.

"I can't wait to take a shower and wash my clothes…" Prentiss said with a sigh as she joined Reid in the back of Rossi's car.  
"I'm longing for a good night's sleep between clean sheets… If it's possible to get a good night's sleep after this" Reid said and Prentiss nodded.  
"It was their own free will, Reid. We have no blood on our hands" she said. Reid shrugged and looked at her.  
"It sounds logical they wanted to burn… Their religion depends on evil and blood and to burn in Hell, but… They were still only people"

Rossi looked at them through the rear-view mirror.

"There will be a de-briefing meeting in an hour. Take a shower and put some clean clothes on and we will fix this" Rossi said.

_Fix this? How? How can we fix the fact that too many people have been burned alive than the state to handle? How much longer will their parents, siblings, friends wait to know if the charcoaled skeleton in the black bag is their son or daughter?_

Reid thought about it all as he stared out the window. Stared at the black smoke rising from the trees.

***

"What you've just been through is something you're never prepared to see" The middle aged lady in the fron said. She was sitting casually on a desk, looking over the croud of policemen and the members of the BAU. Her hair was short and grayish white and her glasses had thick black frames. Reid tried to focus on her other than what she said, because it was too true and painful. She cleared her throat. "… I can't even imagine what it's like to see someone burn, smell it, knowing there's nothing you can do about it, because there's noting to put out the fire with…"

Silent coughs were heard and some sniffles, but appart from that they were silent.

She looked over at Reid, straight at him.  
"There is someone, from what I understand, who might have saved all of you, in this very room… Because he knew, he saw, and he was fast to alert, and I'm sure all of you know who it is, and therefor I will not say his name"

Reid swallowed. He wanted to go fora long walk, reathe fresh air and clense his mind in his own way.

Hotch stood up and joined the woman up there, which made the team a bit surprised. What was he going to say?

"My name is Aaron Hotchner. I am the head cheif of the BAU at the FBI and as some of you know, my team lead the operation today…" Reid glanced over at the others before he turned his attention back to their boss. "… I don't know about the rest of the local offices, but the seven of us working at the BAU are like a family, and always will be…"

_Very unexpected from Hotch. The team were surprised, but proud and kept listening to what he had to say. _"… When things as severe as this happens, we talk, and we're all very patient and understanding with eachother… Because the most important thing within our team is not only the ability to be a professional and good agent, but to be a good member of our own little family and that involves not only empathy and trust, but… Also quite an amount of love, and therefor I'd like to deal with this in private with my team"

They were in shock. Aaron Hotchner had mentioned the words _love_ and _family_ in the same sentence as _his team_. It took them a few seconds to understand that he wanted them to follow him, and as they did so, they noticed the NYPD glaring at them, as if the BAU thought they were better than them. The team ignored it and walked out of there, heads held high, and slowly they realised, that Hotch's speech had been almost more of a de-briefing to them, than an actual meeting.

***

The plane ride was quiet as always as the team slept and Reid finally finished his book. Even if the case had been hard, he felt refreshed somehow by knowing what Hotch thought of them, and also knowing that it was true. They were a family.

It also made him wonder when he'd have the guts to tell Morgan what was going on at home. It was definatly not a good time after such a case, but in a few days, he would do it. He had to.

"Can't sleep?"

JJ sat down next to him and he gave her a weak smile.  
"Not really, no"

She nodded and moved her hair behind her ear.

"Spence… Will you be okay? I mean… When you come home?"

His large hazel eyes met her sparkling blue ones and he thought for a moment before he nodded.  
"Yeah. I'm always alright" he let out a silent chuckle. She remained serious.  
"Please…" she touched his face gently as she bit her lip. "… Promise me… If it gets violent, you'll get out and you call someone"

They looked into eachother's eyes for a long time.

"Okay" he said quietly. She gave him a weak smile and nodded.  
"Okay"

She leaned her head against his shoulder and drifted to sleep. He let her be, and found himself falling into the land of dreams himself.

***

Reid quietly turned the key and unlocked the door. It wasn't late yet, only 7pm, but in case Bill had fallen asleep infront ofthe TV or something, he wanted to keep quiet.

As he opened the door and walked inside the appartment, he quickly realised Bill was awake, as the tall, broad blonde man stood leaned against the wall, looking straight at him.  
"Welcome home" Bill said. His deep voice sent chills down Reid's spine.  
"Th-thank you" he answered and put down his go-bag and hung his coat up. Bill kept staring at him.

"I saw it on the news… The burning barn" Bill said. Reid felt Bill approach him from behind and he swallowed hard. "… They say eighty four people were burned alive in there"

His voice was threatening and icy cold. Reid closed his eyes as large cold hands snaked around him.

"Yes, it was… A tough case this time"

Bill laughed and his cold arms were locked around Reid's thin form. One around his torso with his hand stroking Reid's throat and the other hand gripped his belt. He was locked in that position completely.

"I find it somehow erotic… The thought of burning flesh, the pain… The screaming, the sweat…"

Reid could feel his pulse pound hard against Bill's fingers. He swallowed again. This was it. His final moment…  
"Please, Bill… Let go off me"

For a moment, no one moved. Then, seconds later, Reid didn't even react on what happened before he was slammed hard into the wall. The crushing sound of his nose breaking echoed inside his head as the warm blood rolled down his mouth and chin like ruby pearls. He felt dizzy. He blacked out for a bit, but that didn't stop Bill.

"Don't tell me you don't like it, Spencer Reid!" Bill yelled and grabbed him by the hair, forcing him to look him in the eyes. "You keep begging for more, don't you think I get that?"

Reid felt himself slide across the floor, and he tried to get up, but Bill was too fast and too strong. He forced Reid halfway up on the large leather chair, facing the back of it, and Reid felt him fumble with his belt.  
"Bill, please don't"

His face was pressed down against the old leather seat by one of the strong hands. There was nothing he could do.

His pants were dropped to his knees and he tried his hardest to push the chair away with his hands, but it didn't move.

The sound on the TV was turned up. Sound effects, music and voices pounding in his ears as Bill forced himself inside him. Reid screamed, pleaded, but Bill wouldn't listen. His grip tightened and Reid felt his scalp get scraped open as Bill's fingeres digged deep.

Every thrust was in slow motion. Every scream escaping Reid's lungs were for nothing. His nose kept bleeding and he had to spit blood all over the chair and floor.

In the end, he did nothing but weep. Bill showed no mercy. He kept going so hard Reid was sure it was going to rip him open.

When Bill was done, he turned off the TV and went to bed, leaving Reid on the floor like a sick animal.

His back burned from being scraped in exctasy. His insides felt ripped open and his face was numb.

For a moment he lay there in silence. He felt sick and his head was spinning. After a few minutes he stood up. His legs were shaking, but he managed to pull his pants up and found that his cellphone was still in his pocket.

Every step he took was pain shooting through his insides. He felt no blood down his legs this time, which was good.

Slowly he approached the door and managed to get out of there. He was close to collapsing and wondered if he had been beaten even worse during the short black out. His stomach was sore and it hurt to breathe.

When he finally got outside, he drew a breath, but along with the fresh air came thick blood, and it made him cough. He reached for his phone and tried to focus on the screen. There were no cars around, no people, not even a stray cat. Just the biting November air and the Spencer Reid no one would recognize in that state.

He dialed the last incoming call and waited for a signal. He saw double and couldn't see who it was. One signal, Reid kept walking, slow but at least he was moving. Two signals.

"_Derek Morgan"_

Reid wanted to jump around with joy. Tears escaped his puffy eyes as the familliar voice made him feel less lonely.

"Morgan…"

He noticed his own voice was thick because of all the blood he had swallowed.  
_"Reid? Are you okay?"_

"No…" Reid shook his head. "Morgan, I'm not okay"

At that point, his legs gave in and he collapsed on the frosty asphalt.

"_Reid, where are you?"_

He could tell Morgan was running by the sped up breathing.

"Home… Outside"

He couldn't stop himself. He wept again. His throat choked up and his eyes burned.

"_I'm on my way, okay. Hang in there, kid"_

"Don't hang up… Don't leave me alone"

Reid lay down. His whole body ached.

The ground was cold, but he didn't mind. It soothed his sore back. He just lay there, holding the phone to his ear and watched as his steamy breath swirled around the sparkling stars, sprinkled across the black velvet sky.

"_I'm with you, alright. I'm on my way, just talk to me"_

Reid smiled. His cheeks hurt as he did so, but he couldn't stop himself.

"The stars are very pretty in the winter"


	7. Chapter 7

_Heatbeat._

"Reid, can you hear me?" A faded male voice asked.

_A long beeping noice. Stop the noice, stop it!_

"Spence"

_JJ, it's you… My head hurts…_

"Come on, kid. Open your eyes for me"

Reid opened his eyes slowly. It was all a blur.

_Heartbeat._

"M-Morgan?"

Sighs of relief.

"JJ's here too, like you asked for. Now tell me what happened"

_I asked for JJ to come?_

His vision got clearer and Morgan's concerned face was looking at him.  
"JJ?"

"I'm right here"

He felt a warm hand gently squeeze his frozen fingers and it made him smile.

"Reid, I need you to try and stand up so we can get you in the warm car, alright?" Morgan said. His voice was loud and clear.

"Should I call an ambulance?" JJ asked.

Reid turned his head and looked at her. The chilly air had given her nose a pale shade of red.

"JJ…" Reid began and swallowed. His throat hurt from the cold air. She leaned in closer so she could hear him. "You came for me"

She nodded.  
"Of course, Spence. I told you to call, remember, on the plane"

He remembered as she said it. It made him nod.  
"It's bad this time, JJ"

"I know"

Morgan put an arm under Reid's back, causing him to hiss as the marks on his back burned like acid.

"I'm sorry, Reid, but I have to get you up. Will you help me? On three… One… Two…"

Reid tried his hardest to stand, and without their support he wouldn't have made it. His legs were shaking as he stood.

"I'm dizzy… I need to…"

"It's okay, let's stand here like this for a while"

Morgan's arms were warm and strong, and Reid knew he wouldn't fall when those arms held him.

"Spence, where is he?" JJ asked. It took Reid a few seconds to understand she was talking about Bill.  
"Bi- uh, he's in bed"

The look on JJ's face showed him she was angry. Not with him, but with Bill. It was a strange kind of look, showing both anger and care at the same time.

"Who?" Morgan asked JJ. "You know who did this?"

She looked down and nodded.  
"I'm sorry, Derek" Reid said, surprised by his own choice of using his first name. "I wanted to tell you, but I…"

Morgan interrupted him with kind eyes.  
"It's okay. You called me, didn't you" Reid nodded slowly. "Let's see if we can walk to the car"

One step at a time, slowly. Reid kept staring at his feet and he noticed his shirt was stained heavily with blood.

Morgan helped him lay down in the backseat and JJ joined Reid in the car. She sat down on the floor and wrapped the blanket Morgan kept there, around Reid's thin form. They heard Morgan re-load his gun.

"Wha-what's he doing?" Reid asked, shivering as his body started to register the cold. JJ looked over her shoulder and straight at Morgan.

"I'm going to have a little chat with the guy who did this"

Reid was about to yell, but it made him cough hard.

"Don't… He's too s-strong"

"Who is this guy anyway?"

JJ bit her lip before she said anything.

"It's his boyfriend"

The next few minutes were quiet, except for Reid's hoarse breathing. JJ grabbed her phone. "I'm telling the ER we're coming"

"Did you say _boyfriend_?" Morgan asked.

"Could we have this discussion later?... Yes, this is Special agent Jennifer Jerau of the FBI, my collegue has been severly abused…"

Her attention turned back to Reid and the phonecall. Reid could't help but look at Morgan, as if he was prepared to be judged, but Morgan's face showed no traces of that.

"Let's get you to the hospital, kid" he said and quickly got in the car.

***

Reid's head got clearer as the car ride slowly warmed him up and he remembered everthing. JJ was looking at him, stroking the side of his face softly.

"You were right…" he said quietly.

"What do you mean?" she asked and grabbed his hand. He swallowed.

"I… I shouldn't have stayed with him. I tried JJ, I did I just…"

"Spence, it's okay"

He shook his head.

"No I should have reported him, but I was scared I'd lose my job if it came out that I'm…."

She didn't know what to say, so Morgan talked instead.

"He's gonna pay, Reid, you hear me?!" Reid looked at Morgan through the rear-view mirror and for a second their eyes met, before Morgan had to focus on the road. "I'll turn him into god damn Quasimodo with my own bare hands"

There was a moment of silence, before Reid burst out laughing.

"Ow, ow" he couldn't stop laughing, but it hurt. "You did that on purpose"

JJ smiled at Reid.

"These situations aren't made for laughter" she told him. Reid calmed down and gave her a weak smile in return.

"It hurts to cry too, and I prefer this one"

The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes and darkness surrounded him again was JJ's kind, smiling face.


	8. Chapter 8

It was something harmonic about the way JJ softly stroke Reid's hair as he slept, almost as harmonic as Reid was himself.

That's what made Morgan the most angry, the fact that Reid was too kind, to gentle, too… Too good to be treated that way. Blood didn't suit that face.

As the large white letters to the ER came into view he couldn't help but tighten his grip around the wheel. What would they say? Did it look worse than it really was?

With Reid, it mostly was worse than it looked. _Just let him be okay…_

"How's he doing?" Morgan asked and glanced at them through the rear view mirror.

"I suppose the bosy is trying to heal while he's resting" JJ answered without looking at Morgan. He nodded.  
"I hope so"

Morgan drove into the parking lot and stopped the car. It was almost empty, appart from a car in the far corner and a motorcycle.

"I'll go and get someone to help us" JJ said and climbed over to the front seat and left the car. It was a quiet evening. Cold and dark.

Morgan opened the door and took a deep breath of cool air before he opened the passenger door. It weakened him somehow to see Spencer Reid like that. He had seen him die, he had seen him go through torture and he had seen anthrax slowly corrode his lungs… But never before had Reid been so completely weak as he was now.

Morgan kneeled next to him and looked at the blood stained face. Reid's eyes slowly opened and for a moment he just looked at Morgan.

"I promise you he won't get away with this" Morgan said.

In the distance he could hear JJ's voice.

"Derek…" Reid said quietly and placed his long, slim fingers around Morgan's firm hand. Morgan just gazed into the always kind looking hazel eyes. "Don't do anything stupid"

"Sir, we need to get to him now" a voice said behind him. Morgan gave Reid's hand a squeeze before he stood up.

"Just promise you'll be okay, kid"

As he moved aside, two male nurses went inside the car and somehow managed to get Reid onto the stretcher without him doing anything.

"JJ" Morgan stopped her before she followed them inside the ER. "Stay with Reid, I'll be back"

She looked at him in confusion.  
"Where are you going?"

He licked his dry lips.

"There's something I got to do"

***

On his way, Morgan called Hotch and told him what had happened, not in detail, just that Reid had been abused and that he was going after the guy.

Hotch had told Morgan at least three times during the two minute long call to act professional when he got to the location.

_Yep, he was going to kick the guys ass… In a professional way, of course._

He had only been to Reid's appartment once, but he remembered the layout of the rooms, and went straight to the bedroom. He wondered if he'd have to use his gun on that guy or if his fists would get the job done.

The room was dark, as the rest of the appartment and he studied the form lying in bed for a moment. The guy was quite big. He decided to grab his gun.

He turned the lightswitch on with his elbow as he pointed the gun at the man in bed.  
"FBI, on the ground!"

The guy barely reacted. All that happened was that he opened his eye and stared at Morgan with an icy, evil look.

"Special agent Derek Morgan…" the blonde man said and sat straight up. He grinned evily.

"Get on the ground, you son of a bitch!"Morgan said, a little louder. The man laughed and stood up. _Big and tall… No wonder Reid didn't have a chance._

"I know why you're here…" the man said with a threatening tone. "Spencer came crawling to you, right? Poor little Spencer, running away from bad boy Bill, huh?"

Morgan pointed the gun straight between his eyes.

"You're lucky to still be alive, pal, so don't you tro anything" Morgan said firmly. Bill laughed again.

"I knew you two had something going on behind my back" Bill said, nodding. Morgan frowned.  
"What the hell are you talking about?!"

Bill smirked and looked right at him.

"The way he talked about you… How he longed for work every day… I know all about it"

Morgan swallowed.

"He longed for work to escape your beatings"

Again Bill laughed.  
"Derek Morgan, you're so damn stupid. And you call yourself a profiler… I punish Spencer for what he feels for you! It's you, Derek Morgan, you!"

Morgan fired his gun, and hit Bill in the arm because of how quickly he had moved. Bill groaned as the bullet cut through the flesh of his bicep.

The next thing, it was like Morgan had a blackout. He kicked the man, beat him with his fists, screamed and pushed him into the wall. He realised his actions as he saw the man stare at him in terror.

"Morgan, step aside"

Hotch entered the room, with his gun pointing at Bill's form. "You, get up now!"


	9. Chapter 9

The doctor's didn't tell JJ much. It was almost as if they couldn't see her outside the examination room, anxiously shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

There was a drape around his bed, so she couldn't see anything but the shadows of people behind it.

She was starting to get annoyed at their almost ignorrant behaviour, when a middle eastern woman approached her, removing her rubber gloves.

"You're relative of Mr Reid?" she said with a thick arabic accent.

"I'm his friend and collegue, Jennifer Jerau" JJ said and the woman shook her hand.  
"I am Doctor Yasemine Arman" she said and smiled. "Mr Reid is doing better than we expected. His nose will be fixed by some bandage and won't look alot different dan before… Also, there is two broken ribs, and I tink it is from kicking"

After that she went quiet, but it was the kind of quiet that waited for more.  
"Dr Arman, I can tell there's more"

The woman sighed and moved a little further away from the people walking by.

"He told us he got raped… And after the examination I tink we need to report it to the police"

It was almost as if JJ had heard her wrong, because she didn't want to accept it.

"W-what?"

"Ma'am… Dis was not the first time. Several blood vesals was torn months ago and dere are scar tissue on most part of his body that was covered by his clothes"

JJ stared at her, not knowing what to say. Something inside her had figured out he'd be scarred… but raped? She had never even imagined it.

"I… I have to call someone"

***

Hotch and Morgan were watching Bill get questioned by the local police department and they knew he would never talk.

He leaned back in the chair and looked at the two officers in there with amusement.

Morgan had been forced to inform them about Bill's and Reid's relationship, even if he didn't know more than just that. They had written it down and Hotch had seemed to absorb the new information in a quiet way.

Suddenly Morgan's phone rang. He saw it was JJ and put her on speaker.

"JJ, me and Hotch are listening"

"_I've talked to the doctor…"_ Her voice cracked.

"Tell us"

They could hear her take a shivering breath.

"_He raped him… That bastard raped him, and it has been going on for months"_

Morgan and Hotch looked at eachother without really knowing what to say.

Anger began to bubble inside Morgan and he tightened his jaw.

"We'll be there in a few, JJ"

Morgan hung up and didn't move for a few seconds.

"I'll call the SVU. We need their help on this one" Hotch mumbled and left the room. Morgan couldn't move. He just stared at Bill. At the frozen eyes, through his frozen soul. He wished he hadn't been to much of a coward to ask Reid out… It would have spared him all that pain…

**// Yes it's terribly short but I am stressed out and my life is slowly falling appart so I post what I can. There will be a competition on youtube involving this story, and it's also something for me to use so please go to my YT account. The link is on my profile. R&R**


	10. Chapter 10

The door to the interrogation room flew open and the officers inside turned their heads in surprise to stare at the one storming in, interrupting them.

Morgan slammed his fists on the table and stared Bill straight in the eyes.

"I just got a call from the hospital"

His voice was firm and he said no more after that. He just stared into the cold blue eyes. He could see a nervous twitch at the corner of Bill's eye, but the officers destroyed his plan.  
"Special Agent Morgan, we can take it from here"

Morgan sighed and tightened his jaw as he stood up straight, still staring into the frozen eyes.

"You're not getting away with this"

He marched out of the room and slammed the door shut. Hotch looked at him with stern, yet understanding eyes. He put his phone back into his inner pocket of his jacket and approached his agent.  
"Two detectives from the SVU will be here soon. Take a few minutes, get some fresh air and calm down, they'll need all the information before they meet Reid" Hotch said calmly. Morgan nodded and gave his boss a look of determination before he walked away.

_He'll pay. Oh yes, he'll pay!_

***

A petit nurse with a light brown page cut and thick glasses approached JJ where she sat. The nurse cleared her throat.  
"Madam, you can see him now if you'd like"

Her voice was squeaky and as petit as the woman herself. JJ gave her a small smile and stood up. She got a little nervous from the nurse's own nervous appearance, but simply walked with her to the room.

As she opened the door, the nurse cleared her throat again.  
"He's asleep and he's got an oxygen mask just for safety reasons. His nose is quite swollen.

JJ nodded and approached the drape hiding the bed up in the corner.

"Will he be okay?" she asked, almost scared to walk past the drapes.  
"Physicly he'll be stable enough to go home in a few days" the nurse said with the voice that reminded JJ of Minnie Mouse.

JJ walked past the drapes and looked at the person lying in the hospital bed. Under two blankets, one blue and one yellow lay a form she almost didn't recognize. He looked like a helpless child.

His skin was pale and bruised and there was a scary, bubbling sound escaping his throat with every breath. She sat down on the chair and reached out. There was an IV coneccted to his hand, so she gently touched his fingers. They were a bit cold.

"He's got some blood and fluids in his lungs, but it's not enough to hurt him. It's probably from his nose. Someone from the local police took some pictures of him aswell, so it's nothing to worry about" The nurse explained. "I'll leave you with him for a while"

As the petit woman left JJ felt her eyes water. She had an image etched to her mind of Reid laughing at his own so called joke. It made her chuckle to herself, even if tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheek.

"Why is it always you, Spence?" she asked quietly and sniffled. "… But you always make it… Always… You would have told me if you were a superhero, right?"

She couldn't help but smile. He often made her smile and her heart had pretty much adopted him as her little brother.

***

It took the detectives from the Special Victim's Unit about an hour to get there from New York. It was a woman and a man.

Hotch and Morgan approached them.

"Aaron Hotchner, cheif of the BAU and this is Special Agent Derek Morgan" Hotch introduced and they all shook hands.  
"I'm Detective Elliot Stabler, this is my partner Detective Olivia Benson" the tall man explained. "Shall we sit down and go over the case?"

Hotch nodded and motioned towards an empty office.

Morgan explained what had happened, about Reid calling him and everything after that. He also told them that JJ knew alot more and that they should talk to her.  
"She's at the hospital with Reid" he explained. Detective Benson nodded as she scribbled in her notepad.  
"Alright, I suggest we go to the hospital" she said. "I'll talk to the doctors involved and get the information surrounding Dr Reid's injouries, and you could talk to agent Jerau?" she looked over at her partner, who nodded.  
"I'll go with you" Morgan said and the two detectives left their cellphone numbers to Hotch, before they headed towards the car.

Hotch remained in the building, watching the local police try to make Bill talk, but it was obvious he was playing with them. It made him make a decision and call the officers out of there.

"Hotchner, what are you-"

"You won't get anything out of him, it's obvious. Agent Prentiss will take over"

The two officers were about to protest, but Hotch had this ability to make imself clear through staring at people.

***

Bill took long, slow drags of the cigarette. The woman infront of him didn't intimidate him, quite the opposite. He found it amusing how she tried to be forceful in her voice, firm, frightening… It didn't work.  
"Look, lady…" he began and leaned forward across the table. The fingers holding the cigarette were bruised and the skin was cracked from hitting bone. "… I'm not going to talk to you and I think you know it"

Prentiss stared him in the eyes. His frozen glare didn't scare her.

"I think you're afraid to…" she said firmly. It made him laugh hystericly. His laugh reminded her of old horror movies and he had a voice that almost seemed to deep to be his.

"Agent, I appreciate your concern, but I can promise you I'm not scared. I'm not scared of you or any of your collegues"

"The why don't you talk to me?" she asked. He cleared his throat and took one last drag on his cigarette, before he put it out on the table, pressing the glowig paper roll hard into the wood just inches from her hand, but she didn't even flinch.

"'Cause it aint your buisness, is it"

Prentiss clenched her jaw.

"It is very much my buisness!" she said. "Do you know what the penalty is for abusing a Federal Agent?... Murdering a federal agent?"

This made Bill react, and his eyes snapped up from the ash on the table to her face.

"Spencer's dead?"

Prentiss pushed the chair back slowly and stood up.

"I suggest you consider talking to me" And with that she left the room.


	11. Chapter 11

The sound of the machines, the mask over his face or the tubes and needles in Spencer Reid's body wasn't what made Morgan find it hard to breathe as he entered the room. It was the silence and the fragile look of his entire form.

It was hard for Morgan to sit down next to the bed, even harder to touch the cold hand that belonged to the kid of the BAU.

"You look awful, G man" Morgan tried, but his voice cracked and he knew it was useless to try and act normal at that point.

He rarely cried, but the sight of Reid's bruised face an pale skin made his emotions overwhelming. A salty tear hung from his eyelashes and he wiped it away.

"Why's your hand so cold… Are you cold?"

He stood up and pulled the blankets up closer to Reid's chin and gently rubbed his hand with his thumb. He didn't recognize himself, but he didn't want to stop.

His hand moved to gently stroke the brown locks and he was careful not to touch the brusied face. He would never want to cause Reid any pain.

Morgan sat back down again and sighed. He felt useless and guilt washed over him like acid rain.

"Somehow I made you afraid to tell me… And it caused this to happen" he swallowed as a sore lump infected his throat. "I'm so sorry, Spencer…"

It was as if the sound of his name made Reid react. His fingers twitched and Morgan gently touched his hand again. "Reid?"

Long, slim fingers gave Morgan's hand a weak squeeze and he couldn't help but smile.

"It's Morgan, I'm right here"

"De… Derek?" Reid mumbled quietly. Morgan squeezed back.  
"I'm right here"

He could see Reid's eyes move under the eyelids.

"You saved me…"

Morgan didn't know what to say. He was happy Reid was awake and talking.

"You're strong, kid" he said and smiled. Reid slowly opened his eyes and looked straight at him.

"No… I staid for months with a man who turned out to be a monster. I let him do whatever he wanted to me because I kept telling myself he loved me… That he didn't mean to hurt me"

Reid swallowed and Morgan remained quiet. He just looked at the genius, listening. "I have seen it so many times in cases, I should have known I was digging my own grave"

Morgan let his thumb stroke along Reid's slim, pale fingers.

"Sometimes love makes you blind"

"I did not expect to hear that from a guy like you" Reid said and Morgan looked down at the floor for a moment.

"I know… I guess I have been both blind and confused…"

There was a tension spreading in the room, like electricityin water. "When… When I talked to Bill he told me it was my fault… That he abused you… That everything was about me when it should have been about him"

Morgan looked up again and noticed Reid's eyes were glazed. The young agent turned his head and stared at the ceiling.  
"I'm really tired, Morgan…"

It was like someone stabbed through Morgan's soul. He just stared at Reid for a few seconds before he stood up and slowly walked to the door. He stopped just before he could reach the door.

"Do you know what really hurts?" he turned around, but Reid was still staring up into space, lips pressed tightly together. "That you punish yourself this hard by not telling me the truth. That you so deeply believe I'd judge you and look down on you. I thought you knew me better than that"

As the door closed and Reid was left there all alone again, he felt as broken as he looked.

***

After Prentiss left the room, Bill went mad. He threw his chair into the wall and screamed his lungs out.

"I'm not letting you in there again alone" Hotch told the brunette. She just nodded.

"It's getting to him, though. I think Reid is a sort of key in all this, I'll just have to find what kind of lock the key belongs to"

As Prentiss headed back to the door to the interrogation room, Hotch nodded towards one of the security officers to join her.

"Why are you so angry?" Prentiss asked as she stepped into the roomand looked over at Bill, who was standing in the shadow of the corner, panting, boiling.

"I want to see him" Bill mumbled. Prentiss sat down by the table in the only chair still standing and looked down at her neatly placed hands on the table.

"After what you did to his face, I doubt that"

She knew she was provocing him, and her own words scared her. She hadn't seen Reid yet and she feared it would be just as bad as she was saying.

Bill stepped into the light. His jaw was clenched.

"I know I'm a bad man, a sick man… But I love Spencer and I want to know what's going on"

Prentiss licked her lips and decided to make a dangerous move.

"Are you a murderer, Bill?"

When she looked at him, she could see there was terror written all over his face. Fear and terror. "Maybe you want some time to think about that…"

Again she left the room, wondering if the man had meant any of the words that had escaped his mouth.

***

Detectives Stabler and Benson asked Reid the usual questions… How long? Why? How did you two meet?

Reid was tired and the pain medicine they provided him barely did any good. He was not allowed morphine, due to his old addiction to Dilaudid.

He answered their questions without emotion, like a robot. He just wanted to be alone and deal with the pain his own way.

It hurt him just by thinking of Morgan's words, but he knew it had been true. Just the fact that Morgan knew it all scared Reid and that had been what caused his silence.

The reason to why he had never told Morgan about his feelings was because Morgan was known as a 'ladies man' and his constant teasing about Reid not 'getting any' had made Reid drift away even more, trying to maken his feelings go away.

He had hoped the abuse from Bill would have caused his mind… and heart to give up on love, forget it excisted, but it only made it stronger. It made him wish for comforting words, strong arms just holding him, or just his presence.

He had pushed Morgan away by his own fears, and it made him want to give up everything. For the first time, he really felt useless. His mind meant nothing anymore.

"Doctor Reid, are you okay?" Benson asked. He snapped out of his own thoughts and slowly turned his head to look at her.

"No" he simply replied. She tried to smile, but it came out weak.

"I'm sorry" she said, nodding slowly. "We have what we need so far, you should get some rest"

Reid said nothing as they left. He had nothing to say.

It was like he had used up all of his voice and he wondered why he kept sharing uninteresting and stupid facts with his team. It made his eyes water as he thought about it, and he barely noticed JJ walking into the room.

"Are you in pain?"

She quickly walked over to his bed and looked at him with the purest eyes. She was the only one who would stay by his side no matter what.

"It won't kill me" Reid said and tried to smile, but it only made the corner of his mouth twitch a little.

"Why do I hear disappointment in your voice…?"

It was hard for JJ to be proffessional at that moment. She swallowed.

"I'm just scared, JJ"

She sighed.

"We won't leave you, Spence… Ever"

He swallowed hard and blinked away an annoying tear that made his vision a blur.

"Morgan thinks differently"

They just looked at eachother for a moment and JJ bit her lip as she gently ran her fingers along the unbruised skin on his hand.

"I have to go and see how the team does… You should sleep"

Reid just nodded and felt the loneliness cling to his skin, cold and sticky, as JJ left.


	12. Chapter 12

Morgan knew he had been harsh on Reid. He had taken his anger for Bill out on the victim, and it made him regret his actions all the way back to the police station.

He parked the car and marched inside, walked past Hotch and Prentiss on their way to the interrogation room and entered it himself.

He grabbed the chair with force and sat down. It was obvious Bill had been shaken up by something, and Morgan knew it could be the only moment to get everything out of the monster.

"You have one chance to talk before I demand your doom" Morgan said, eyes piercing through the frozen stare that met his. Bill's lip was bloody, proving he had been chewing his lip for a long time. A clear sign of nervousness and guilt.

"What do you want me to say, agent Morgan? I have told you everything. This is all thanks to you"

Morgan shook his head.

"I don't torture the ones I claim to love"

Bill laughed hoarsley.

"Now, now… I think we both know the truth here. Spencer didn't want me anymore. It didn't start with this, oh no… It started with his fantasies about you, Derek Morgan. You. I wasn't good enough for him anymore, I don't have your brains y'know. Spencer is like that, he appreciates a good mind"

"You have put him through torture" Morgan interrupted. Bill continued as if nothing had happened.

"The first time he called your name in bed I sucked it up. I let it go… But when it didn't stop, I made it clear to him he had a choice to make"

"Beating him black and blue would help him do that?"

Bill played with his lighter between his fingers.

"It's your work of art, Derek Morgan"

Morgan knew Bill was trying to provoce him.

"No, Bill. It's yours and you'll go to jail for it"

Again Bill laughed.  
"Spencer took the pain for you. He knew I would have killed him if he left me, and if he died he wouldn't see you again would he?"

Morgan swallowed. It was hard to not let it get to him.

"He is too smart to ever do that" he replied. Bill lit another cigarette and shook his head.

"Ever heard of the saying 'Love will make you a fool'?" Bill said and looked at Morgan with his icy stare. "Spencer taught it to me. He loves you… And because of that he's now in the hospital… Tell me, is he really dead?"

***

Hotch and Prentiss were watching through the two way mirror. So far, Morgan had done a good job at making Bill talk, but something was not right.

"He's changing" Prentiss said. "He's getting more secure… Do you think he's getting dangerous?" she asked, turning to Hotch.

The dark haired man studied the UnSub in the interrogation room without any expression on his face.

"Morgan can handle it. He's getting close to a very good result. We have a confession already, all we need now is the background"

Prentiss got a little worried. Sure, Morgan was strong, but Bill was gigantic.

The cellphone in Hotch's pocket vibrated and he answered it.

"Hotchner"

"_Boss, I've got some juicy news for you_"

"Talk to me, Garcia"

He put her on speaker.

"_I was able to find a few interesting things about this Bill guy. His real name is William Penn and he was raised in a extreme catholic sect in Arizona where they apparently taught the kids how to clense sin from people by torturing him_"

"What kind of people?" Hotch asked.

"_Most of them were actually homosexual men or worked in that community"_

Prentiss and Hotch stared at eachother.

"Anything else?" Prentiss asked. They heard Garcia type quickly on her keyboard.

"_Oh God… His father gave him electric shocks to cure him, as if his sexuality was an illness. After four years of torture the mother couldn't handle it anymore and gave William up for adoption. He was only fifteen years old"_

Hotch rubbed the base of his nose and sighed.

"See if you can find any reports similar to Reids. We need to find the trigger"

**//Okay guys, it's short, I know, but I'm busy as you know, and there's more information in my laters video. The link to my YouTube page is on my profile.**

**I'm putting this story on hold for now to focus on Periculum and try to get it started for real.**


	13. Chapter 13

_Ice cold pain shot through his body and made him scream. His wrists were tied to the bedpost and there was nothing he could do._

"_Please William…" he wept. Strong fingers grabbed his neck and pressed into the flesh, causing his muscles to tighten and the pain from that torture fried his brain._

"_Do not call me that!"_

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he begged and the fingers left his neck. There would be bruises there the following day._

_He was used to it, but the pain was agonising. Bill was angry and violent._

_Spencer had no strength left. He cried and his muscles ached. His legs went warm as Bill let him loose and lay down beside him._

"_I love you"_

_He wanted to believe him but Spencer was confused and in pain. _

_The sheets were bloody_

_***_

Reid woke up screaming. A nurse rushed into the room just seconds after.

"Doctor Reid, are you alright?"

He was panting and sweat pearls littered on his forehead.

"I'm… I… Could you please call someone for me?"

His large brown eyes looked at her, pleading.

"Of course, sir. Who would you like me to contact for you?"

He swallowed and ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"De-Derek Morgan… I need him here"

His voice was shaking and the nurse gave him a kind smile.

"I will be back as soon as I have talked to him, okay?"

Reid just nodded and closed his eyes.

***

The bulpen had never ever before been filled with so much frustration. Even Penelope Gracia, who was all by herself in her office was getting irritated and she actually threw her fluffy pink pen into the wall.

"Ugh, I am so not Senõra Sweetheart today" she growled to herself and leaned back into her chair, eyes fixed on the computer screen. Bill didn't have a criminal history similar to this one, which made it almost impossible for them to ever find a trigger. Of course, Garcia wasn't a profiler and she hoped and trusted her boss and the gang to find one and put the man behind bars.

"Our genius boy should've come to moi and I could have found a proper guy for him…"

Again, she was talking to herself. She often did that when she was frustrated. With a heavy sigh she dialed Hotch.

"_We're listening Garcia"_

She sighed again.

"There's nothing that we didn't already know about this guy to find, except for some fights att different clubs"

She let her magic fingers dance over the keyboard as she opened up the different files and documents that included Bill. "He apparently used to be a bartender when he was only sixteen but got signed for a modeling agency when he was nineteen. There are some articles and such, he's apparently a millionaire and that is why he retired early"

Hotch rubbed the base of his nose as he thought for a moment.

"A bartender and model… He's constantly around lots of people and someone should know him enough to tell us about him"

He looked at his team and he saw determination. They were all ready to give a hundred percent in this, and he didn't have to say anything else. They all got behind their desks.

***

Morgan found Bill very difficult to understand. His emotions were hard to register.

"Do you know what the penalty is for murder? Do you have any idea what the jury will think of you?" Morgan asked and leaned in close enough to feel Bill's breath against his chin. "Do you know what they do to gay men in jail?"

Bill licked his lips nervously.

"Agent Morgan… If Spencer is alive… Do you think your boss will let him stay here after he finds out about Spencer's feelings for you? … I think not"

They stared at eachother for a while. Morgan clenched his jaw.

"You know nothing about our boss"

Bill let out an evil laugh.

"You know aswell as I do that SSA Doctor Spencer Reid will be moved to another unit, and if he refuses to take a job elsewhere he will get fired. Now, his job is his life… You would kill him, Derek. You would be responsible!"

Morgan wanted to punsch him in the face, but he controlled his emotions. He quietly thanked the lord when there was a knock on the two-way mirror and he had to leave the room.

Closing the door behind him, JJ handed him one of the wireless office phones.

"It's the hospital. They want you to go there"

For a moment Morgan got scared, but there was no painful expression on JJ's face, and therefor he sighed calmly and took the phone from her.

"Agent Morgan" he said and listened to the nurse as she told him about the situation.

"Dr Reid is having nightmares disturbing his rest, and everytime he wakes up he asks for you. I think he has something to tell you, it seemed urgent"

Morgan nodded and looked over at JJ.

"Alright, I'm on my way" he hung up and gave JJ the phone back. "Tell Hotch I'm visiting Reid. Apparently he wants to tell me something"

"Tell him we miss him" she said. Morgan nodded and gave her a pat on her back.

"I will. Call me if anything happens"

"You do the same"

In that very moment it was all very clear that the BAU team were so much more than just a team. They were family.

**// It's been long since I updated, I know… But I have so much going on, it's a long story, but there you go. I'' update as soon as I can.**


	14. Chapter 14

The hospital corridors had faded their lights for the night. Time had gone by quickly, and yet the team felt they were going nowhere.

Morgan took a deep breath. He had a lot of guilt inside him for not seeing what his best friend had suffered every day. He had no idea how much harm Bill had done to him, and he figured he'd never know that either.

It cut through him like a knife when he thought about all those times he had joked about Reid being tired, looking worn or having too much coffee. Everything had been jokes.

He had made fun of a person he loved very much, a person who he always wanted to protect. He felt disgusted with himself.

Morgan lightly knocked on the door before entering the room.

He laid there like a piece of meat. It barely even looked like Reid and Morgan knew he would never be able to get the picture of him lying there out of his head.

"The nurse said you wanted to talk to me"

He walked up to the bed and sat down on the chair next to it. Reid swallowed hard and looked at Morgan with his big, brown puppy like eyes.

"I can't get it out of my mind, Derek"

Morgan tried not to look too bothered by the pain clearly visible in his partner's face.

"What is that?" Morgan asked gently. Reid swallowed again and his eyes returned to stare up at the ceiling.

"He tied me up… He was stronger than me, you know how big he is…" Reid began and licked his bruised lips. "H-he burned me… Hit me with various objects over my back… Once, I couldn't walk for a whole weekend…"

Morgan swallowed as a lump grew in his throat. Reid's eyes flickered to meet Morgan's for a second, but it was obvious he was ashamed.

"… And either during that, or after… He'd rape me" Reid continued. A tear rolled down his cheek and his lip started to tremble. "And I stayed, Derek… I stayed with him. I thought for once… I was loved"

He was by then looking at Morgan, and Morgan looked back, but he didn't know what to say. All he could do was feel the young man's pain and carry it with him.

"You've always been loved, Reid… Just not in the way you wanted to"

Reid knew that Morgan had found out and turned his head to stare out the window.

"I know I can never be yours… It doesn't matter now, anyway"

Morgan sighed.

"What do you mean?"

Reid studied his own reflection in the window. It was raining outside.

"I'm surprised I'm still alive… Why am I alive? I have been exposed to what would be considered fatality so many times and yet I'm always here"

Again, Morgan had no answers. It was true, Reid was lucky to be alive, but Morgan could sense a tone in the words escaping Reid's lips that he didn't like.

"You're not about to give up on us, are you?"

Reid smiled a little.

"If I wanted that, I wouldn't have called you that night… I would have stayed on the ground, try to relax and then I'd let go… I know what it's like, I'm not afraid to die…"

Morgan rubbed his face with his hands and sighed.

"Bill thinks you're dead…"

Reid turned around and looked at Morgan once again.

"Is he proud?" he asked. Morgan shrugged.  
"I think deep down he's mostly scared of being sentenced to death"

Reid nodded slowly.

"Can you promise me something?"

Morgan tilted his head a little to the side.

"What?"

Reid looked determined.

"As soon as I can walk out of here I want to be let in that room and squeeze it all out of him"

Only a determined Dr Spencer Reid could say those words.

Morgan thought for a while.

"I'll see what I can do… But you better heal quickly, Pretty Boy"


	15. Authors note!

Hey!

It's been forever but I want to let you know that I'm going to try and continue this story.

I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I'll start writing it ASAP!

Thank you so much for the nice reviews and for your patience!

/Kimona


	16. Chapter 15

Seeing Reid so determined, so strong, even though he was weak and in pain, dizzy from the drugs, he was strong… It made Morgan soften inside and look at the young man in a different way. He understood that even if Reid had been tortured in the past by Henkel, set on fire, shot, kidnapped, infected with anthrax and even wondered if his father had sexually molested him as a child, it wasn't until now that he really pleeded for help. Morgans help.

He needed him. Those big brown eyes told him everything about it, and Morgan wished he would tell Reid he loved him… But it wouldn't help the situation. Instead he gently brushed his fingers over Reid's hand, afraid he would hurt him if he touched him more firmly.

"You know what, kid?"

Reid was surprised by the touch, but he didn't mind it. He looked up at Morgan and frowned, like he did when he was thinking hard.

"What?" he asked. Morgan smirked a little.

"You really have been special to me, always. How can you not be, with that brain of yours and your really unique way of charming prostitutes…"

Reid smiled. He would have laughed a little if it hadn't bee so painful.

"Thank you" he said. Morgan shook his head.

"I mean it. The fact is, I don't know how I feel about you… What Bill said got me thinking, but I still don't know for certain" Reid looked at him with surprise and hope glittering in his eyes. "So, if you can give me some time, after the case is closed, to think about it"

"You can have all the time in the world Morgan" Reid said with a crooked grin. "Not literally, it's not even possible to own time… But I give you all the time you need. And whatever desicion you make will make me happy. You're here by my side and you always have been. I appreciate that"

Morgan nodded and cleared his throat.

"You really love me? Like that?"

It was a serious question. He needed to know.

Reid hesitated for a while and swallowed.

"Yes… I do love you – like that"

Their eyes met and for a moment they just looked at eachother. There had always been honesty in Reid's eyes and to Morgan that was something you couldn't take for granted. He smirked.

"We better make up a plan on how to break Bill"

...

Bill was getting impatient. He had been staring into the concrete wall for hours, wondering if Reid really was dead or if it was all a game to make him talk.

He scrunched the plastic mug that had been on the table between his strong fingers and gritted his teeth. Being in that room made you lose track of time. He didn't even know if it was a new day or not. All he knew was that he had been in there for way too long.

Suddenly the door opened and Morgan returned with a file in his hand. He walked up to the table quietly, making Bill suspicious.

"Oh finally you keep your mouth shut, Agent Morgan" Bill said and followed the agent with his icy stare. Morgan said nothing as he sat down opposite the man he hated so much. He looked at him for a moment before he pushed the file across the table.

"There's nothing left to say" he said quietly and Bill got really curious to what was in the file. He hesitated before he opened it and the air was sucked out of the room as he stared at the pictures infront of him.

"So it's true then" he murmured. "Spencer's dead"

He nodded and gritted his teeth as he looked up at Morgan. "You think it was what I wanted, don't you"

Morgan just looked at him for a few minutes.

"You know, right now it doesn't matter what you wanted. We're waiting for the paperwork that will allow your hanging"

At that point, Bill got nervous, but he still wanted to play.

"Oh really. I thought you'd rather see me in jail getting raped in the shower and having my own teeth for breakfast. You're giving me an easy way out, Agent"

Bill was laughing and Morgan just couldn't get how the young genius could've actually survived living with this man. He was a monster.

"Oh don't worry" Morgan threatened. "Paperwork takes some time... and while we wait, the inmates of the local penitentiary are being informed about how you raped and tortured an innocent man, an Agent protecting their country, to his death"

Morgan wasn't afraid of him. He could tell Bill had bought the faked pictures and that he was getting truly afraid. Morgan slowly got up and turned his back to the monster. Bill laughed again.

"Do you know why Spencer wanted me in the first place..."

Morgan stopped. A part of him wanting to know the truth, but another part of him knew that Bill was a liar and nothing he said could be taken seriously. The man grinned evily towards Morgan's reflection in the mirror wall. "he really liked it rough. He wanted it to hurt. He'd scream and moan in pleasure when I ripped his hair while pounding him raw..." Morgan closed his eyes. He didn't want to see this bastard's reflection in the glass as he spoke. "... at the beginning he liked the taste of his own blood. He licked it off me like frosting off a cupcake. Just being tied up while I cracked his skin, whipping him made him hard..."

Morgan didn't want to hear anymore. He left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"_just one night full of sin  
feel the pain on your skin  
tough, i don't scream mercy  
it's your time to hurt me  
yeah  
if i'm bad tie me down  
shut me up, gag and bound me  
cos the pain is my pleasure  
nothing comes better  
yeah"_

**AN: It's a short chapter but I sort of have to get used to the different mood in this story compared to my other ones. Let me know what you think! **


	17. Chapter 16

_He had entered the club feeling shy, rubbing his hands on his pants nervously as he approached the bar to get a drink. He didn't normally visit nightclubs, or even a quiet pub. Drinking wasn't really his thing and definatly at a place like that._

_He hadn't dated a man before, never even kissed one. He was too shy and insecure to ever have the curage to do it, but there he was, in an HBT nightclub and he still felt a little shocked. _

_He ordered a Havana Cooler and drummed nervously against the bar counter with his fingertips. The music was loud and pounding, he felt the beat through his body, almost as if his own pulse adjusted to the music. The dancefloor was packed with bodies pressing against eachother in the blinking light of blue, green and purple._

_We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna fuck like it's our first time  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
I just wanna sweat it out  
On my clothes and in your mouth,yeah_

"_Here you go, hun" the bartender said with a silky voice and set the tall glass down on the counter. Reid nodded appreciativly and brought the ice cold glass to his lips._

_The disco light reflected in his ice cubes and after just one sip he felt a bit more secure with his surroundings._

"_You're new, aren't you?" the bartender asked. Reid scanned his features. He was in his forties, with hair like Johnny Rotten and a short sleeved black net top. Reid could see a glistening piercing under it and it made him swallow and blush. He shook his head._

"_This is all very new to me" he said in honesty and gave the bartender a nervous smile. The bartender smiled back and leaned in over the counter._

"_Not to worry, hun, we don't bite" he said and chuckled. There was something about him that made Reid feel comfortable, even if he found it hard to understand why some men would become more feminine just because they were into other men. "Finally taken that final step out of the closet, huh?"_

_Reid shrugged, feeling a blush burn his cheeks again._

"_Not really, I'm actually not quite sure what I am" he explained. The bartender smiled again, revealing a gold tooth amongst the other perfect, white teeth._

"_You're gorgeous, that's for sure" he said. "I'm Mikey, by the way. If you need anything, let me know. First drink is on the house"_

_He winked at Reid and went to take care of his other customers. Reid chuckled at the situation and took another sip of his drink. He felt someone tap on his shoulder and so he turned around._

_A pair of piercing, blue eyes met his and he was stunned. He had never sen eyes like that before._

"_You look lonely, wanna dance?" the man asked. Reid swallowed and his head started spinning with pro's and con's. The man smiled and winked at him. He was chewing gum._

_Taser in my pocket  
Got the flask, got the pipe  
I know, I know what you like  
I know, I know what you like_

_Reid nodded quickly._

"_Yeah, sure"_

_He wasn't thinking. Somehow, those eyes, the smell of bubble gum and tobacco, the man's platinum blonde hair… It was intoxicating._

_Somehow they ended up on the dancefloor and Reid wasn't sure how to move to the music. The other man got it and chuckled. His voice was raspy from smoking, but in some way soft and seductive._

"_Just move to the groove" he said and started dancing to the music._

_We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna fuck like it's our first time  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
I just wanna sweat it out  
On my clothes and in your mouth,yeah_

_It took a few seconds for Reid to dare to move at all, but watching the other man made him relax and feel the beat. It wasn't like anyone was dancing in a certain way anyhow, most people jumped around or clinged to someone, making out on the dancefloor, so why should he care?_

_The man moved closer to Reid and he didn't mind. They both moved to the music and Reid was so intoxicated by the man's eyes that he couldn't let go of watching him._

"_I'm Bill" the man said and moved closer. Reid had never been so close to a stranger and still feel so comfortable. His heart was racing as the blue eyes glittered in the disco light._

"_I'm Spencer" he said breathlessly._

_The man scanned him from top to bottom._

"_Well, Spencer, how come I've never seen you here before?"_

_Reid swallowed and licked his lips. His mouth was getting dry._

"_I-I haven't been here before"_

_The man let out a sigh of relief and nodded._

"_I was starting to wonder how the hell I could miss such a beauty"_

_No one had ever called him a beauty. No one had ever looked at him that way ever before._

_Dress me down, turn me on  
Spill my drink  
(oh woah)  
Push it hard, push it good  
Make me scream  
(AHH oh woah)  
I've never done this before  
Condom wrappers on the floor  
Oops I lied  
Yeah we do this all the time_

_Bill got closer. The air was warm and steaming, lights blinking, music pumping and smoke slowly rising from the floor. Reid was pushed up against the wall and he didn't try to escape. He let all thoughts of warning and to think again escape his mind as Bill leaned in closer, brushing his lips against Reid's. He tasted just like he smelled. Bubblegum, tobacco and beer and there was something about the combination that turned Reid on. He closed his eyes and they placed soft kisses on eachother's lips before they deepened it. Reid could feel his heart race and thump hard against his sternum. It was a completely new sensation and he loved it._

_We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna fuck like it's our first time  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
I just wanna sweat it out  
On my clothes and in your mouth,yeah_

_Bill placed his hands at the back of Reid's neck and kissed him harder. Reid tasted his tongue and let Bill take control. He could feel Bill's hands slowly move up through his hair, making him shiver. He threw his head back in a gasp and Bill chuckled as he kissed down Reid's throat, sucking his Adam's apple._

_Reid was boiling with lust. He didn't want to let go. Bill moved his hands up Reid's marine striped t-shirt and traced his ribs. Reid's nipples were hard and it made Bill smirk. He pushed Reid further into the corner of the dancefloor and kissed him again, hard and rough. Reid didn't know what to do with his hands, he was getting aroused and desperate. It was as if Bill knew as he grabbed Reid's wrists and pinned them against the wall, his face just barely appart from Reid's._

"_You promise to be quiet, beautiful?"_

_Bill let go off him and started working on getting Reid's pants unzipped. Reid was confused._

"_What do you mean… What are you-… oh my g-"_

_His eyes rolled back and he closed them, mouth open as the warm sensation of Bill's mouth around him sent shivers down his spine and made his head spin. They were right there, in the corner of the dancefloor and he didn't care. _

_I'll come pick you up  
(i know you wanna)  
Disappear with us  
(we're going under)  
Underneath your love  
(make a dirty mess)  
I'll make you remember this_

We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna fuck like it's our first time  
(oh woah)  
We're gonna party like it's prom night  
(oh woah)  
I just wanna sweat it out  
On my clothes and in your mouth,yeah

_Reid felt out of this world. The sensation of electric lust burning inside him. He wasn't able to be quiet, but it didn't matter. He didn't care if anyone heard him or saw them. That was the one moment in his entire life that would ever make him ignore everyone around him and forget his normal, shy, clever self. He swore out loud as he came, finding it hard to even stand up straight._

_That was the first time he met Bill._

**AN: Hey everyone! Thank you so muchfor your kind reviews. I'm sorry it took a while for this next chapter, but I'm also writing on three other stories aswell as studying and working and all that, so I write whenever I get the time :)**

**Please R&R**


	18. Chapter 17

_'Till everything burns  
While everyone screams  
Burning their lies  
Burning my dreams  
All of this hate  
And all of this pain  
Burn it all down  
As my anger reigns_

Morgan had tried to push all his thoughts about what Bill had said away, and even though it was hard, he knew he couldn't let a stranger who had hurt his best friend so badly get to him. There was no way of trusting Bill, but he could always be sure to trust Reid.

He was on his way to the hospital. Reid had called and said that he could go home and Morgan had been quick to offer him a ride.

He parked the car outside the building and headed for the entrance. He knew Reid far to well not to realise that he would probably ask him to get back to Quantico and take out his revenge on Bill. He understood him completely, but the thought of him being in the same room with that monster wasn't that appealing, especially not since he'd started to get different feelings for Reid. Stronger feelings. Ever since Bill had mentioned little bits and pieces of Reid's feelings towards him he had felt a deeper kind of caring, even loving for Reid.

He had to be professional. Reid was in a voulnerable state.

He gently knocked on the door before he entered. Reid was sitting on the side of the bed, already dressed. Morgan walked up to him with a smile.

"Someone's lookin' all better" he said and Reid looked up at him with a smile.

"Hey, yeah I'm-" he flinched and bit his lip, obviously sore, as he went to stand up. Morgan's smile dropped and he became serious for a moment. "I'm fine"

"Take it easy, ok. Don't rush this, we need you fit for fight when this is over"

Reid stood and faced him.

"We don't have time to take things easy. I need to get in there. I need to look him in the eyes and realise he's not the man I fell for... I need to know I never chose a monster, that it's not my-" Reid pressed his lips together as his voice broke. Morgan could see his eyes were glazed, but Reid continued. "That it's not my own fault this happened to me"

Morgan shook his head.

"It's not your fault, Reid. It'll never be your fault"

He placed his hands on the younger agent's shoulders and looked him in the eyes. Reid nodded slowly.

"Please... I need this to let go and start to pick up the pieces again" Reid said quietly and swallowed hard.

They looked at eachother for a moment and Morgan felt he could really see a glimpse of Reid's soul through those big, hazel eyes. He could tell he was broken, inside and out and it hurt him to see the young doctor like that.

"You're not alone, kid" Morgan said. Reid said nothing but Morgan could see the corners of his mouth twitch. "You ready to go?"

Reid nodded and waved the prescription note he had clutched hard in his hand infront of him. Morgan got Reid's bag before he even had time to reach for it and they walked slowly out of the hospital room.

...

Time was slowly running out for them to keep Bill in custody and with only eight hours remaining the team were getting frustrated, since they wanted him to get the worst possible punishment, but the judge wasn't so keen on taking everything into consideration. After all, Reid was in that relationship of his own free will, wich made the case balance on the edge of ability to see Reid as an agent or civilian.

Bill was getting charged with aggravated assault, first degree rape and threat against Reid, but Hotch was working hard to add both psychological trauma and assaulting a federal agent, even torture if he could. He spent most of his time on the phone. He had personally asked the SVU to step down as this was a personal matter to all of them and Strauss had respected their wish of solving this on their own.

They were all working hard to make sure Bill wouldn't get away with what he'd done too easily. JJ and Rossi were watcing Bill through the two way mirror, studying his every move, while Prentiss and Garcia were researching Bill's past and his former partners.

They were all a bit surprised when the doors opened and Morgan entered the bullpen, followed by Reid.

The agents looked up and stared at his bruised face and long, straggly hair. He walked with a slight limp, but looked far from defeated, quite the opposite. He approached Hotch's office and Prentiss went to get Rossi and JJ. Something was about to happen, they could all feel it through the static air that surrounded him.

Hotch could see him through the door and quickly put the phone down and walked up to him.

"What are you doing here? You should be resting"

He placed his hands on his hips and stared at Reid under dark eyebrows.

"I want to see him" Reid said. Hotch's face remained stern but his eyes got filled with concern.

"Well, you can't" he said. Reid let out a snort and looked down for a second.

"Let me refrase that" he began and looked back up again. Hotch could tell by the look in Reid's eyes that he was determined. "I'm going to see him"

Hotch just eyed him for a moment before he spoke.

"For what purpose?"

Reid sucked on his bottom lip before he answered him.

"Honestly, I think I can finally break him and right now... I feel stronger than ever, Hotch. I don't have the physical strength he has, but I know exactly what he wants and I have the capability to give him exactly the opposite now"

Hotch thought about it for a moment and from the corner of his eye he could see the rest of the team looking at them, waiting for answers. He sighed.

"Alright, but you're not going in there alone. JJ will be with you the entire time"

Reid looked frustrated for a second but nodded.

"Okay"

They left Hotch's office together and the others could tell Hotch was concerend about something. He walked up to JJ and told her to go in with Reid. This caused quite a stir and both Prentiss and JJ started questioning weither it was such a good idea to let Reid be in there with Bill. He had barely even started to recover from his injuries and they were worried something would go on. Hotch understood their concern, but Reid was a grown man and he had to respect his desicion.

Garcia was soon called in since they knew she wanted to be there and show her support to Reid.

It took her under three minutes to get there and she was clicking her heels as fast as she could into the bullpen. She immediatly went straight for Reid and wrapped her arms around him.

He couldn't help but smile and a few seconds later she pulled back and looked at him through green, sparkling frames.

"You are so brave" she said and cupped his face. "All I need is one word and I'll become the evil tooth fairy and pull his teeth out myself"

It made Reid feel better to have her there making a joke. He chuckled.

"No matter how much I'd like to see that, I doubt Hotch would authorize it"

"Oh, I might join in myself" Hotch said.

It was a serious matter, but Reid knew they were making jokes to show their support and give him some comfort. It worked too. He glanced over at JJ before he moved towards the door and pushed the handle.

**AN: Thank you so much for your reviews and support. It'll be a little hard for me to update this month because I have an internship (?) at the state hospital for 4 weeks so I will be busy, busy, busy. **


	19. Chapter 18

"_Whatever they do,  
Whatever they say,  
Leave it tonight and go your own way  
And then you'll sing, you'll do your thing.  
Believe me when I say so,  
I want you to know how things can feel  
Keep you away from what is out there,  
I wanna prepare you on for what's real  
You'll get by and get it your way,  
Whatever they do  
Whatever they do"_

Whatever they do by Moa Lignell

…

It was obvious Bill was shocked and horrified the moment Reid entered the room. The icy, blue eyes stared at him, but he was trying to hide his expressions.

"They told me you're dead" he said with his deep, vibrating voice. Reid kept a strong, neutral face as he pulled out the aluminum chair on the opposite side of the table and sat down.

HE just looked at im and JJ stood in the back corner, carefully watching the two and her hand went to her gun out of instinct. It was a moment loaded with a sort of electricity no one would understand.

The silence was obviously bothering Bill. It wasn't something he was used to and it was exactly what Reid was after. His hazel eyes scanned the other man's face calmly and with a new kind of strength.

"How did it make you feel?" he asked in a very professional manor, as if Bill was a suspect from any other case they'd been working on. The blonde man grinned almost evily.

"I knew it wasn't true" he said and Reid raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" he asked calmly. "Did you not want to believe it or did you just not care?"

Bill leaned in closer across the table, trying to appear threatening but it had no effect on Reid.

"I knew because it was agent Morgan who told me" he said in a low voice. "And if you had died because of me I know he'd either be a complete wreck or tried to beat me into a pulp"

There was a sudden spark in Reid's eyes and Bill noticed it, but said nothing. Reid licked his lips as his mouth seemed to go dry in an instant.

"Maybe you would've liked the second option" Reid said with a frown. "But oh, wait… That's your specialty"

Reid laughed at his own words and it caught JJ by surprise, but she was sure he knew what he was doing, so she remained silent with a glance over at the two-way mirror on the wall. Bill smirked.

"Is that how you see me?"

It was more of a statement than a question, but he wanted Reid's opinion. The agent wasn't going to give it to him.

"It's who you are" Reid told him honestly, almost sounding dark and threatening.

Had he been able to, Bill would've slammed his fists against the table, but the cuffs under the table had him stuck, unable to do much at all.

"How dare you" Bill said through gritted teeth. "Trying to appear like the innocent little genius, are you? Well, let me tell you something…" Bill began, chest heaving as he was boiling with anger. Reid remained seated and calm, eyes locked on the man infront of him. Bill continued. "… You're a sick person, Spencer. I told your precious Derek Morgan exactly what you're like and if he didn't get it, he's as stupid as everyone else"

Reid swallowed, trying to keep his unaffected facial expression, but he was curious to weither it was true or not, and what exactly he had told Morgan.

"It just proves what a coward you really is, trying to blame me for what you've done" he said. It made Bill laugh and it was almost unbearable for JJ to watch the scene that played out in front of her. Bill's voice was deep and raspy.

"All those times you begged me for it" Bill began, his frosty eyes gleaming with evil. "You try to blame _me_ for your own sick pervertion? I know who the _real_ coward is and I'm looking right at him"

At that point, Reid stood up, palms against the table as he leaned forward. Their faces were only inches appart.

"Enough bullshit" he said through gritted teeth. "I know the game you try to play here and no matter what you think, you are going to lose it"

JJ had never seen him like that before and she wasn't sure how to handle it. A part of her was letting it go, thinking he was playing a game himself, but the other part of her was telling her to interrupt them and pull him to safety. She remained in the corner, feeling a nervous flutter in the pit of her stomach.

"I know you've tried so hard to keep this façade, letting people believe you're stronger than everyone else, more dangerous than anything, but I know exactly what you are" Reid told him and again, Bill was boiling with anger. The vains on his forehead were pulsating and his muscles tensed.

"Oh, do tell me" he provoced. Reid could feel his warm breath against his face.

"You're nothing" he said. "You're hated by everyone, even your own parents. You even hate yourself for what you are and your only way of burying those feelings is to use people as your little puppets and do whatever you want to them. No remorse"

Bill smirked.

"You were a great puppet"

JJ was getting worried that Reid's plan would backfire and her eyes flickered anxiously between the two men.

"I will never be your property" Reid said, his voice calm but at the same time threatening. Bill laughed, but the young agent continued. "You will never be a man, just that sad, scared little boy your parents sent away and never wanted to see again. You will always be the guy they would beat up in the locker room, the guy who never got to experience love, because you've never deserved it"

Bill suddenly let out a deep roar and stood up, kicking the chair away. Within a second, JJ had raised her gun and pointed it towards him. Reid didn't back away, in fact he just laughed at the angered, dangerous man.

"I did nothing but love you" Bill growled. "Everything I am is because of you"

Reid just shook his head, his hands down his pockets, still laughing.

"That's just so… pathetic"

He went around the table and JJ was ready to intervene.

"You know what's pathetic…" Bill yelled as he tugged so hard on his cuffs the table lifted from the ground, before slamming back down into the concrete floor. "You constant pladder of Derek Morgan. Your secret little crush, well I know you thought about him every single time, wishing it was him"

"He would never do those things to me" Reid shot in. "He wouldn't need to beat me until I was numb to get some"

At that very second, Reid realised what he had said and that everyone had heard him, but he had to remain focused. It was almost as the scene went in slowmotion as Bill, with all his might, threw the table straight into the wall and the cuffs came loose.

In the blink of an eye, the door had opened and both Hotch and Prentiss entered the room, guns pointed straight at Bill. Morgan was standing in the doorway, fists clenched and with gritted teeth. Bill laughed.

"Oh, without them you'd be a scared little deer, wouldn't you" Reid swallowed and glanced over at Hotch. Bill continued. "Now that we're all gathered, why don't you tell them the truth, Spencer? That you actually asked me to do all those things, that it turns you on to be in so much pain you're almost paying death a visit"

He took one step closer to Reid.

"One step closer and I'll shoot your brains out" JJ warned.

"The truth…" Reid began. "… is that you'll get what you deserve, and I'll still be free"

With that he walked towards the door, pushed past Morgan and left the room.

Morgan slowly approached the man he had come to hate with every fibre of his being and faced him, before he punched him hard in the face. Bill buckled over and received a kick in the face with Morgan's knee.

Bill fell to his knees and laughed as he spit blood on the floor.

"I see why he fantasises about you, Derek Morgan"

**AN: Thank you guys for being so supportive of this story. 200 Reviews now, wow! I feel honored!**


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